From the archives of a toddler's mommy...

Toddlers and their idiosyncrasies tickle your funny bones as much as they confront you with situations that are quite typical for them alone. Last evening when Anshika was back with her papa from the mall, perhaps she had been "trained" to refrain from divulging the fact that she had enjoyed an ice cream (which is quite a taboo when Maa is around), however the moment her mommy opens the door she enacts as if she had been fed the dessert quite against her will! Well, you can guess papa's reaction!
A toddler whose vocabulary is none but an uphill task is more dangerous than a blender with a missing top, hear this out-when Maa instructs Anshika to tread carefully on a wet bathroom floor for she might "slip", she confuses it with "sleep" and asks mommy to demonstrate, which in either case is difficult and ridiculous!
A toddler can come of age, mentally alone (for physically, they are usually that cute yet pint sized dynamite that can explode any instant) as per their convenience-for instance, you assign them a task as nominal as possible they become "mall" (Anshika's version of "small") but when they want something that's specifically for adults, they abruptly gain maturity. This sudden, incredible and phenomenal virtual transformation is stereotypical of none but toddlers!
Besides being highly adorable and contagiously cute, toddlers can sometimes utter words or do something that can make you remain awestruck for hours or even days!
This afternoon while fiddling with my tattoo, Anshika expressed her desire to have one etched exactly where I have; when questioned what she wants to write, she immediately retorted with her twinkling eyes, "Maa"!
We all know the significance of this word but I truly felt as being reborn as one!
When I was already overwhelmed with such waves of emotions, my little one nailed it yet again by saying that she loves her parents, grandparents and all at home (I had to customarily assign each one's name exactly as how Anshika addresses them) as much as the sky, by raising her tiny hands and trying to gauge the entire universe in her cute little being!
This perhaps would be one of those innumerable posts wherein I pen down about my toddler; and no, I do not picture myself as as an overindulgent mom who mollycoddles her daughter. These write ups are spontaneous flow of words that's straight from the center of my heart, that lies majorly occupied by my ever-surprising toddler.
Few weeks back when Anshika had buckets of unexplained tears, as parents, both Maa and Pappa (yes, that's how she addresses her dad) wished and prayed she should grow up to understand and explain as to what's bothering her, so that we could come to her rescue accordingly. And now that she begins her "proper school" (that's how colloquially a play school and an institution is demarcated by laymen like us) from tomorrow, it seems God answered our prayers too early.
The fact that she gets clothed in school uniform, adorned in meticulously done up hair, polished shoes, carries a "Spider-Man" school bag+water bottle+tiffin box+pencil box (yes she worships super heroes or precisely, "SPIDER-MAN") is already creating butterflies in my stomach. When did this little one grow up so soon? Where did so many years of cuddling, hugging, sometimes whining, but mostly laced in laughters go?
Some may find my behavior too over the top but don't all parents feel the same? Didn't our parents feel the same?
I really wish to know how parents feel when they bid adieu to these tiny tots at the school gate; I wish to know what goes on in the minds of these parents when they are separated for even 3 hours from their little ones.
Though Anshika's been a pro at the play school, since she's started it at the tender age of 2, I still feel pangs of anxiety when she graduates to nursery tomorrow morning! This is yet another milestone that as parents we venture into. And this, does not come at a lesser cost-getting your little one finish her/his lunchbox is still a Herculean task (though that's the first thing which is highlighted in BOLD on Anshika's bucket list) as it is to make them hold a pencil and inscribe the first alphabet or numerical successfully!
All said and done, as parents, we really look forward to this new phase in Anshika's life and pray that this too becomes a remarkably enjoyable journey that goes down as an indelible memory in our lives.
You know you have a toddler when your internet history is all about baby spider man, 5 little monkeys, Martha and the bear and similar stuffs, this means your home wifi also gets drained completely. Most of the time I struggle to send or receive mails/chats/IMs because Anshika literally consumes a humongous portion of our monthly data coverage! Sometimes I also shriek out in horror when her screen reeks of baby zombies! (I mean who could imagine that babies could turn zombies as well)
Toddlers are perhaps the only creations who have no idea what embarrassment stands for which is actually good, er, not so good in situations like when you are trying hard to potty train your little one, who after several rounds of refusal suddenly retorts, "Tumi dekhiye dao" (You show it!!!) to your innocent bids of "Please try baby"!! I could hardly control that grin to escape my otherwise embarrassed state of mind.


These little imps can surpass Einstein's IQ sometimes when they make remarks like "Maa, luv u jinddgi pant", comparing your stylishly, meticulously torn jeans to Alia Bhatt's, wearing which she toppled off her bicycle in 'Dear Zindagi'. The toddlers' ever growing intelligence and further sharpening this through their experiential learning each moment thwarts my beliefs that their brains are small and can contain limited information!
Having taught Anshika that daal and vegetables are essential for her to become strong like Chota Bheem or even Mighty Raju, it seems I have invited for some serious trouble for myself because, after each mouthful she wants me to enact how she can beat up the baddies exactly how they do on screen, and remember, each of my moves need to be different!
Teaching right and left can be quite an exasperation when a toddler is your trainee for they believe right is right or left is left  even when these come on the opposite sides while traveling to and fro through the same lane. How do you explain this one now?
Toddlers are quite unnerving specially in their learning phase when they follow the learnt to the T, for instance, Anshika would proudly proclaim that she wiped the nosey that came out straight from her right nose (read nostril)!
On one hand toddlers when awake, are these whirlwinds that's unstoppable, on the other hand, they are the epitome of extreme innocence when napping. But in both scenarios they are the smallest of humans that take up most of the room in your heart. Their world is tiny, so when these little ones are overwhelmed with big emotions, it is us, the adults who must share our calm and not join their chaos.
Living in with one of these whirlpool of undying energy for over 3 years now I believe, toddlers aren't things to be moulded but individuals to be unfolded!
Toddlers and their idiosyncrasies part III.

Can a pear stain your palms? I know that's quite confusing but that's a highly probable possibility with a toddler, just as Anshika invented this idea this afternoon which was a trick to satiate her undying love for the liquid hand wash and her strong affinity for the wash basin, so much so that she has permanently placed a tiny miniature stool to step on and fulfill her favorite pastime! And that's precisely why sometimes we are thankful to the Mumbai municipal corporation for stopping water for few days else we have to close the main tap and enact that water hasn't showed up for many days now! (The plight of parents whose toddlers and water are inseparable entities)
Being the mother of a toddler I sometimes suspect my slight medical knowledge (read, all Bengalis are half doctors, thanks to our incessant cases of gastric troubles and acidities which surely stems from our extremely adventurous gastronomic fares) when my little one first complains of a tummy ache and immediately resolves it herself by smugly stating, "popcorn khele thik hobe" (popcorn would cure it)! Can you beat that??!!
Toddlers and their newly acquired raw vocabulary is something I have truly started dreading as this dates back to an incident that occurred few days back, which left me baffled and the shopkeeper rattled-a couple of days back whilst going through Anshika's wardrobe I realized that I need to buy few full length pants as somehow she doesn't prefer capris much or if she is made to wear them much against her wish, she would surely embarrass her mommy by constantly pulling it down till it slips off her waist, thus I reach this place with Anshika, where the shopkeeper cum sales guy first seems elated since we seemed to be the only customer he had seen in days now only to be left with the worst shock of his life, when he suddenly hears my little one screaming in glee, "looto" "looto" "looto", and here he gives me the most disgusted expression questioning my credibility and equating this with my state of mind, (because "looto" in Hindi means steal) perhaps when I am on a shopping spree! Just as I check on his expression I notice Anshika's reaction was meant to be for "Pluto" "Pluto" "Pluto", the famous dog possessed by none other than Mickey Mouse that she happens to chance upon a romper! I thanked my stars perhaps a million or even a zillion times that day else a slip of an alphabet would've costed me my life!
These little ones can leave you in splits when the only reaction you want to show is anger, the other day Anshika left all her toys on the floor and posed busy in some other activity, when I questioned her actions, she smartly retorted, "Toys ra okhane ghumachhe" (the toys are sleeping there). Now what should you react to this? Obviously, the drastically opposite to what you had planned! And that's exactly what I did! I couldn't stop laughing even after couple of hours post this incident.

Our toddlers are really like a topless grinder that can rattle you, baffle you, amaze you but make you fall in love with them every single minute.
Besides these, a toddler is perhaps the only creation of God who can fart unabashedly and act like nothing has happened or as in Anshika's case camouflage it under a bout of unexpected and unexplained cough!

Life with a toddler is a roller coaster ride where, they make you the happiest, the most contented souls on earth (I pity those who think children are a burden on their aspirations, sorry for this dig but it's a blatant honest truth), and equally drive you to the worst point of insanity but bring you back again, to moments of incessant cuddles, hugs and unconditional love which perhaps doesn't die with age but surely turns mature.
How I wish these days of "baby smells" being exuded from each and every artifact at home could be frozen in time; how these timeless, precious moments of answering a question perhaps n number of times could be captured; how their calling out to you aimlessly could be recorded; how their arms could remain entwined around your neck, standing out in comparison to all the precious neckpieces you posses, for these are days that are numbered as these little ones would soon transform into beautiful adults taking on the world with great aplomb; till then let us secretly enjoy all the overtly idiosyncratic behaviors at home for soon they become some priceless memories.
Toddlers and their idiosyncrasies part II

For over a fortnight now Anshika's been using a fragmented sentence with overtly idiosyncratic words such as "punckan" which reportedly she had eaten some time back at some place where they had also played "kana kana mana" (read, with all due respect, "Jana Gana Mana"). A sign of warning here, for all those either having toddlers around them or planning their way to parenthood, the phase between 1.5-perhaps 3.5 years, these little dynamites pick up really raw vocabury, raw why, because each normal sounding words can be turned into the most queer ones! Coming back to Anshika's story, with all my efforts I couldn't fathom the meaning of what she was trying to imply using those obnoxious fragments when her dad came to my rescue (because by now I had earned tremendous wrath from her due to my inability to comprehend her words) and explained that she had eaten popcorn ("punckan") during one of her movies with us (later she sang and told me it was "love you jindgii") and that the national anthem was played too!
It is often said that these little ones will never hear their names being called out but will hear a bag of chips being opened through three walls and a thunderstorm!
For instance, the other day when I almost burst out my lungs while calling Anshika, she came to me
only after I had mentioned that I am giving her, her favorite candy!
Sometimes these little ones may have severe number fixations such as Anshika wants everything in 10 pieces alone (so things that can't be given in larger quantity I am compelled to make minuscule parts!)
Relating to this one, these days, both Anshika and her papa play a game wherein they jump into bed after a count of 1-6 (I mean, we all have learnt to initiate anything, be it a race or some game, at the count of 3, but it's not so for her).
Toddlers being the most unpredictable creation of the almighty, might, sometimes cry at the drop of a hat or laugh incessantly without rhyme or reason. They will take elaborate efforts to scare the daylights out of you and you, mandatorily have to act petrified!
Toddlers' fixation with certain things go beyond anyone's rationale, for instance Anshika wants "Thakur"  i.e. God, to eat the "Medu Vada" (whenever offered during festivities) quickly so that she can eat them too! She will chant his names till he comes down and punishes mommy, wherein she needs to cry and enact that the desired punishment has been meted out to her.
Sometimes she would also request God to come down and cut Maa's hand because she threatened to spank her (smartly ignoring the reason behind the overtly hyped spanking)!

Toddlers and their idiosyncrasies can surely  be the title of my repeatedly requested book because these are unending.
Having said that, toddlers can be finally summed up as emotionally unstable creatures who can push you to extreme insanity and easily revert to the most lovable and huggable creation on this planet!
Toddlers and their idiosyncrasies!
Even though pint sized, they aspire to handle situations (read, things) independently. They pride in re opening a refrigerator door which has been closed by an adult (read, their virtual opponents) and closing it back; they give a Diwali rocket a run for its money when the door bell rings and they intend to open it (Anshika even dreams of opening the door in her sleep, which when awake now she does cautiously as Mom in her typical dramatical style has instructed that she would be picked up by a stranger who would cover her face and taker her away to a place that would not have mamma, papa, or even grandparents around!)
These toddlers who perhaps have learnt to stand on their tiny, wobbly feet (and I mean this literally) few months or even a year back take it to heart, and how dramatically so, when they are denied their independence in any act that they intend to take up-even brushing their teeth without the toothpaste because that has been carefully placed on a rack much higher than their tiny self can reach!
These toddlers irrespective of their behavior/attitude/whirlwind-like attributes can brighten up anyone's day-even the not so seemingly pleasant personalities. For instance, these little ones are the most unpredictable creature that God could think of; for when you crave for a hug they box the day lights out of you; when you least expect a cuddle they pounce on you and smother you with their kisses and smooches. And in my case, if by mistake Anshika manages to hurt me, she softly kisses me and assures me in her baby language,"Ebar thik hoye jabe" (that now it would be fine)!
Sometimes their silence can be the best example of "the lull before the storm", because it is believed that when your toddlers are silent, parents need to be quite suspicious (in such similar scenarios I have found my mirror smothered in baby cream, the refrigerator door practically given a bath, the walls though spared my white couch adorned in scribbles). Sometimes as my MIL says these little ones should be spared, which I think is right, unless they cause some self-inflicting damage or even disrespecting someone.
Perhaps our life would have been different had these little ones not been there, but I can bet life would not have been as entertaining as it is with them around! And when I write this or when some of you read this while patting your little one to sleep, you sadly realize that this phase is soon going to slip out of our hands. These cuddles, these kisses or even "bringing down the roof" scenarios with their next to hysteria like acts, is quite short lived post which these toddlers attain a supreme change in personality that makes you wonder in awe were these the same individuals.
Even though I struggle to keep my cool (or at times when I lose it) most of the time,I would surely miss these days which is slipping out of my hands no matter how hard I am trying to hold on to them.

#AHighlySentimentalMomWhoseToddlerIsGrowingUpTooTooSoon